He just abandoned me without a word, and with the little shred of pride I had left I didn't ask why.


(Sigh) I want to forget.
I’ve worked so hard these passed few months to get myself to function normally, and now after all this time..
It’s all coming undone, I don’t want to waste any more tears.
Why do I have to see him in my dreams again?
Twice, not even 6 days apart.. that's too much, it's so unfair.
I can take tasting his lips every time I drink from a bottle of Peach Tea Snapple.
I can take feeling his presence whenever I dance.
I can take hearing his voice when I listen to music.
But I can't take seeing him in my dreams.
I can't continue to be reminded of that which I cherished the most, because I'm weak against such illusions.
I don't want to wake up with so much anxiety that I think it might kill me.
Something as small as nail polish can remind me of him... I only wear clear or french manicure because he didn't like colors. Subconsciously, I've grown to dislike them too.
My life isn't mine anymore.
All the things I love are now affiliated with him somehow, my love has become my misery.
How do you escape that?

I don't want to lose myself again..
My personality was so altered after my first heartbreak, that I'd forgotten what I was like before it happened.
Then ( 6 years later ) He came and pulled me back from the other side. Undid in only three months, what I couldn't in years. He healed my greatest wound and erased the scar.. only to tear open a new one.
It's the same nightmare, only with a different demon. I'm sure there's a lesson somewhere in there?

Happiness comes with a price.. (even if it's Godsend)
(Sigh) u.u

I don't want to sound bitter, but..
It's apparent. There's no one in this world I can trust.
Yeah, the next one might be 'different' he could be 'better' but the end result will still be the same.
Because no one can keep all their promises, and MOST of us forget we've even made them.
I don't want to fall in love so completely again.
My heart will remain mine and mine only. No one will dare touch it e_e..
Unless they're willing to die.

Everything needs time. So take it slow. The after-taste is there, and it is not like it is going to fade overnight.

You are being slightly pessimistic there (even with my own standards as a "kind of" pessimist). I suggest you do something different in the mean time to forget the image of him (i'm not telling you to overwork or overplay, just doing something different as a change of pace)

And if that guy just left you without a word like that, i would rather incline that he was a dick, so probably this is good for you in the long run. "True love" is a very far-fetched concept for me, but i do think that everyone had to experience hardships at least a few times to reach happiness.

On other hand, i suggest buying a punching bag, a pair of handwraps and gloves. Just punch and kick your sorrow away. I do that all the time. A great stress reliver.

This is all coming from a guy who is very UNLUCKY with girls. If i'm still living my life as usual then you should be able to. It is a hard step, but you have to step in order to progress. Anyhow, good luck.

You'll get better hun, just takes time.

Hanki wrote:

He just abandoned me without a word, and with the little shred of pride I had left I didn't ask why.


(Sigh) I want to forget.
I’ve worked so hard these passed few months to get myself to function normally, and now after all this time..
It’s all coming undone, I don’t want to waste any more tears.
Why do I have to see him in my dreams again?
Twice, not even 6 days apart.. that's too much, it's so unfair.
I can take tasting his lips every time I drink from a bottle of Peach Tea Snapple.
I can take feeling his presence whenever I dance.
I can take hearing his voice when I listen to music.
But I can't take seeing him in my dreams.
I can't continue to be reminded of that which I cherished the most, because I'm weak against such illusions.
I don't want to wake up with so much anxiety that I think it might kill me.
Something as small as nail polish can remind me of him... I only wear clear or french manicure because he didn't like colors. Subconsciously, I've grown to dislike them too.
My life isn't mine anymore.
All the things I love are now affiliated with him somehow, my love has become my misery.
How do you escape that?

I don't want to lose myself again..
My personality was so altered after my first heartbreak, that I'd forgotten what I was like before it happened.
Then ( 6 years later ) He came and pulled me back from the other side. Undid in only three months, what I couldn't in years. He healed my greatest wound and erased the scar.. only to tear open a new one.
It's the same nightmare, only with a different demon. I'm sure there's a lesson somewhere in there?

Happiness comes with a price.. (even if it's Godsend)
(Sigh) u.u

I don't want to sound bitter, but..
It's apparent. There's no one in this world I can trust.
Yeah, the next one might be 'different' he could be 'better' but the end result will still be the same.
Because no one can keep all their promises, and MOST of us forget we've even made them.
I don't want to fall in love so completely again.
My heart will remain mine and mine only. No one will dare touch it e_e..
Unless they're willing to die.

Not to be an asshole, but I'm not the nicest when it comes to this as I helped my friends out alot during high school and college. Go volunteer at the local homeless shelter, foodbank, or orphanage. Then you can say your life sucks after you can somehow compare lives to some of those people. Better yet, do what I did and go to a Mexican orphanage that has 2 rooms for 40 children. Your life doesn't suck, no where near it. I've had my heart broken a number of times, and though the first time was a pain to get over, I got over the others fairly quickly, talking days, but not once did I let it be shown. Go out with your friends, drink and have some fun. Play some games and listen to some new music. Find a new hobby, like tennis, cooking or some shit or lose some weight. It's going to happen more than once, and you'll probably going to have to save this rant on word somewhere to post again in a year or so, or maybe you'll find some guy that'll be better. Read some Manga, how many times does the MC get broken up with before he finally finds the girl/guy he likes? Usually about 100+ chapters. Have fun, or at least pretend to have fun, do you really want to be sulking in your room with a sad face all that time? You lose friends that way, most of them will find you not fun to be with or a pain in the ass since you probably have that "please ask me what's wrong" face.

Me and my ex (of 2.5 years) broke up about a week ago, and I'm fine now. I've realized I have more time to myself, I dedicate it to studying for my LSAT and working, as well as being able to hang out with my friends and all in all hang out. Sure, I talked about it at first, one day, no crying just talking about it. and it was a 5 minute conversation of "Oh, well that sucks" and a pat on the back. The tears shed aren't worth it and are actually really bad for your face, wrinkles and clogged pores and such . Suggestions and why to do it. After breaking up, and it's only been 2 weeks as I said, I started working out, eating better, and going out more as well as a change in wardrobe. I've had compliments and even my ex came to my apartment yesterday and said that she wondered why I looked so much better, and hinted to come inside. The beauty is I said "No". That could be you, your ex will come to you and hint going out or hanging out and you can look him square in the eye and say ,"No, thanks". Because you'll understand that you deserve better, as you are bettering yourself, and everything around you. You want to be a person that brings happiness to those around you as that will attract people to you. Everyone wants to be with the person that has the people laughing around them, or is the center of attention but not in an obnoxious way, like screaming out loud and trying to be "lolhottopicclothes" galored. So, quick advice, mope for a day, cry your eyes out. Get over it the day after, hang out, don't think about it, get new hobbies, new music, and the rest of the blocks will fall in place as time progresses.

o_o Wow, I'd forgotten about this. Haha.

@Daval
As the topic suggests, this was an "emotional rant"
You are in no position to judge me or assume things you know nothing about. I'm not oblivious to people less fortunate than I. I understand the point you're trying to make, but what does charity have to do with my personal life?

I poured all my sadness out into this topic, something I can't do so easily when I'm around people. I don't mope and walk around with a long face when I'm feeling down. I don't burden other with sob stories, so writing is my only outlet, my self-therapy. e_e;

Yes, it's not the end of the world, life still goes on. Even though I've said it a million times, I'll still find myself falling in love and hurting after. I'll cry and despair and swear never to let it happen again, and I'll get over it and do it all again. ^_^ That's how it goes, and this was just another part of that process.

If you are so jaded over these topics, online or real life, you should simply avoid them. n_n..
That said, I never expected to get a response from anyone. Thanks for the positive feedback guys!